Is It OK to Take a Doggie Bag Home From a Date?

You're on a date, and the food is delicious--so good, in fact, that you really don't want to leave any of it behind. Would it be tacky to ask for a doggie bag?

The ladies on Let's Talk About Pep debated this on Monday's episode. Pepa's friend Kittie said the food was so good on her date with the Toe Sucker that she took some home.

OMG, that's tacky--was pretty much how her girls reacted when they heard what she'd done. But the food was soooo good, she responded, so she just couldn't leave it behind.

A FabFem reader said on this blog's Facebook fan page that this conversation was the most memorable tidbit she took from the show. Is it really tacky to take leftovers home from a date, she asked?

I guess my answer is conditional: Is it the first date? The second? Or the 25th or 50th date? My rule of thumb is that if I'm just starting to date a guy, hell no, I'm not taking a doggie bag home. Heck, I make sure I leave some food on the plate so he doesn't think I'm greedy and have never had a good meal before. But if he's my man or damn near it and I really want to have some for lunch or dinner the next day, I would be OK with taking leftovers home. I don't think leaving the impression of tackiness is such an issue if you've been dating for months or years.

At least one columnist agrees. In the column, Table Manners, the writer suggests not taking a doggie bag home for at least the first three dates. It could leave a bad impression, she says, and it could even impede your date's ability to lean in for a kiss if the box or bag is blocking his way. (On the flip side, once you've snagged the man, our First Lady shows it's acceptable to take leftovers home. She was photographed on Valentine's Day last year carrying a bag home from her date with the President.)

Then there is the I-Don't-Care-Because-I'll-Never-See-This-Loser-Again-Anyway category. For me, that's Cutie With Attitude, who I've known for going on two years (and who I'll probably never see again after this incident). We went out to dinner two weeks ago, and I took leftovers home with me. But that was more to spite him since he made a point of telling me how much he hates my dog ... and he felt himself up at the dinner table (!). I took the steak leftovers home for my dog to eat, not me (and boy, did he love it).

TALK BACK: Is it OK to take a doggie bag home from a date? Does your rule of thumb depend on how long you've been dating--i.e. whether it's the first date or the 50th date?

First Day of the Year, First Bad Date of 2010

It's never a good thing when your date feels himself up before you have a chance to.

Having been stuck in the house a lot lately--because of snowstorms and being sick--I took Cutie With Attitude up on his offer to go out to dinner on New Year's Day. I hadn't talked to him in weeks, since I asked him to stop contacting me, but he reappeared during the holidays, as they usually do.

I thought a nice dinner date would be a welcome trip out of the house. I thought. And I kinda sorta had fun...at first.

That is, until CWA unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and began rubbing his chest, doing an LL Cool J thing with his lips, while we were sitting at the dinner table in the restaurant.

As he felt himself up, he said, "You like that, don't you?"

Me: "No, really I don't."

WTF. Did he really think that was sexy?!? WHY ME?!?

It only got worse after that. Somehow the conversation turned to CWA's hatred for animals. Apparently a large dog bit him when he was a child. So, he told me, he hates dogs--and that includes my 4-pound dog. Any woman he marries better get rid of her dog if she has one, he told me. I told him that's too bad because the only way I'd ever consider getting rid of my dog would be if I fell in love with someone who was severely allergic to him. Otherwise, CWA can kick rocks.

Needless to say, I was happy when the check came, and I was very quiet the entire ride home. I was relieved that CWA did not attempt to come inside my place, but he did walk me to the door. When I got home, I decided to check out CWA's facebook page--He'd just signed up for fb not too long ago and we became fb friends while we were at dinner. I took a quick look at his page and went to bed.

The next morning, I tried to go back to CWA's facebook page to look at it in more detail--and guess what? He had deleted me as a friend on facebook! I texted him to say, "You deleted me as a facebook friend? Wow." He responded right away and claimed that he hadn't deleted me. He said he didn't know what happened. Must've been some sort of facebook glitch. Whatever, dude.

Do all of these dudes read from the same BS handbook of excuses? I'm mean, you really must be kidding me.

On to the next one.

Exes Who Reappear During the Holidays

Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, without fail, I hear from a few exes. That includes the more official exes who were my boyfriends or damn near it, as well as the guys who never made the cut but thought they'd put in a good effort.

On Thanksgiving this year, I received text messages from four guys from my past, wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving, inquiring about my well being, wanting to know if I was celebrating with my family. I replied to them all, but not until late that night. And my answer was simple: "Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too." After all, no need to imply I wanted to continue the conversation.

The guys who texted me are men you've read about here before: Super Texter, Prince Charming, Mr. Serious, and Cutie With Attitude. Each one offered some variation of the following: "Thinking of you and your family today. Hope you're having a Happy Thankgiving."

Seems harmless, I guess, but it's just so funny to me. For years, Biggest Dog Ever called or texted on the holidays, until he finally got a clue and stopped.

I have to wonder why these guys even bother. Is it an effort to remain on my mind--even if it's only once or twice a year? Is it a twinge of guilt at letting a good one slip away? Is it the hope that one text message might lead to a phone call or maybe more?

Or are they just being friendly, showing they still care? Who knows. These are all guys who I've decided to cut off for one reason or another, and I intend to keep it that way.

TALK BACK: Do you usually hear from your exes during the holiday season? If so, how do you respond?

Why I Don't Do Sexy Camera Phone Pictures

One of my pet peeves, as you know, is guys who text more often than they call. Here's another: Guys who ask me to send them sexy camera phone pictures but rarely make an effort to see me in person.

I just don't get it. You live close to me, and hardly see me, yet you think I'm going to take pictures of myself--perhaps of my shoes (for the guys with foot fetishes), or worse, my butt -- for your cellphone enjoyment?

You really must be kidding me.

Cutie With Attitude regularly asked me to send him pictures of my butt or whatever shoes I was wearing that day (he had a serious fetish for high heels). And he would cop an attitude when I said no--and I always said no. This guy lived about 20 minutes from me but barely saw me once a month. Yet I was supposed to send him photos whenever he requested them? I don't think so.

For women who might be tempted to take and send revealing photos by cellphone, consider pictures said to be of singer Rihanna--which depict a woman nearly naked, holding a camera phone (WARNING: The previous link includes photos that contain some nudity and are not appropriate for viewing at work) that turned up online a few months ago. I never heard how or from where these photos were leaked, or if it was confirmed to be Rihanna in the pictures. I was disappointed that Diane Sawyer did not ask Rihanna about the leaked pictures in her 20/20 interview about the singer's relationship with Chris Brown (who was also in at least one photo), with whom she was in a two-year relationship until a domestic violence incident earlier this year.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think taking pictures is all bad. I am not at all shy, and I love the camera. I smile and even have a certain pose that I'm teased about because I usually tilt my head slightly to the left in photos. Still, that doesn't mean that I'm willing to send guys who rarely make an effort to see me random cellphone pictures of myself--especially not revealing ones.

I've heard of people in long-distance relationships who exchange sexy photos in order to keep the "spark" alive. If I were in that situation, I probably would be willing to send a camera phone photo every now and then. But it wouldn't be anything that could come back to haunt me, as Rihanna's pictures apparently did.

Call me reserved, but I'm just not into sexy camera phone pictures. So I really wish guys would stop asking.

TALK BACK: How do you feel about sending sexy camera phone pictures to someone you're dating?

A Honey-Do List With No Honey

I'm a girly girl. I don't like manual labor. I don't fix things around the house (or with my car). And I don't like to lift heavy objects. I even once recruited a (very cute) man at Lowe's to put down roach bait in my condo because I was too afraid that a bug would get me if I did it alone.

Yet here I am, stuck with a honey-do list with no honey to complete the tasks. I have a heavy bin full of my summer shoes that needs to be carried up my spiral staircase and taken into my storage room, and a lamp high above my condo's entryway that needs new light bulbs. My closet door is slightly off track and could use a little tweaking. Oh, and my ceiling fan? The chain fell off of that a few weeks ago. So who is going to fix it? Probably not me, that's for sure.

It occurred to me today that it would be really useful to have a guy around right now. But why didn't I think of that before I got rid of the stragglers? Sigh.

But then again, Cutie With Attitude wouldn't have helped me out around the house anyway. He might have broken a sweat, for goodness sake, and Lawd knows he wouldn't want that. And Super Texter? Well, he would've helped, but it wouldn't have been long before he was cursing me out by text message again.

So I guess I'll be lugging the storage bin up the stairs myself one of these days. And I'll take a trip to Lowe's for new light bulbs. Maybe I'll get lucky--as I did with the stop at Lowe's for roach bait--and find a handsome man there who can come handle my honey-do list for me.

Cleaning House: Cutting Stragglers Off & Starting Anew

I'm not looking for perfection. I don't believe such a thing exists. I have my flaws, and I know that every man has his quirks. So I try to weigh the good with the bad and separate quirkiness from crazy, though lately I've been attracting the latter.

In the past two days alone, I've had to cut off two different guys. One was Super Texter. And I didn't cut him off because he was late for a date--That was minor and I was over it as soon as it happened. No, he had to go because of his extreme emotional reactions to benign situations. It was borderline scary. His pattern is to flip out on me about once a month (I've known him three months) and then apologize profusely a week or two later. My friends began joking that I was setting myself up to become the subject of a Lifetime movie. Even my dad--when I told him about Super Texter--said to run, not walk, away.

And then there was another guy, we'll call him Cutie With Attitude, who was probably one of the most attractive men I've ever dated, but his attitude simply sucked. Seriously, what a waste of a fine specimen of a man. You see, Cutie With Attitude believes that women should be happy that he even calls them. So if months (yes, months) go by and you don't see him, you shouldn't trip.

Then there was Cutie With Attitude's total lack of consideration for the most basic things. Now let me be clear: I'm pretty self sufficient, even when I'm sick, so there are no expectations here. But if you're a man who claims to be interested in me, the least you can do is fake the funk. However, Cutie With Attitude couldn't even manage that. If I was sick, which has been more often than usual in the last year or so, he never asked if I needed anything. He barely even called to make sure I was alive.

So there were two different issues with Super Texter and Cutie With Attitude. Super Texter was kind and considerate most of the time, but he turned crazy--like, seemingly mentally unstable--when things didn't go his way. Cutie With Attitude didn't appear to be crazy, but he was arrogant, self absorbed and totally and utterly inconsiderate.

If only there were a machine where you could morph the "good" qualities of two different men into one human being. A girl can dream, can't she?

But as I write this, I feel like I made a good decision on both fronts. I just celebrated a birthday, and it was time to clean house for the year ahead. These two guys have taught me more about what I can tolerate and what I can't when it comes to guys. So I guess it wasn't a total loss.

TALK BACK:  Are there dealbreakers that annoy you so much that you've stopped dating someone because of them?  Holla at me in the comments section or on the FabFem Facebook fan page.