Is It OK to Take a Doggie Bag Home From a Date?

You're on a date, and the food is delicious--so good, in fact, that you really don't want to leave any of it behind. Would it be tacky to ask for a doggie bag?

The ladies on Let's Talk About Pep debated this on Monday's episode. Pepa's friend Kittie said the food was so good on her date with the Toe Sucker that she took some home.

OMG, that's tacky--was pretty much how her girls reacted when they heard what she'd done. But the food was soooo good, she responded, so she just couldn't leave it behind.

A FabFem reader said on this blog's Facebook fan page that this conversation was the most memorable tidbit she took from the show. Is it really tacky to take leftovers home from a date, she asked?

I guess my answer is conditional: Is it the first date? The second? Or the 25th or 50th date? My rule of thumb is that if I'm just starting to date a guy, hell no, I'm not taking a doggie bag home. Heck, I make sure I leave some food on the plate so he doesn't think I'm greedy and have never had a good meal before. But if he's my man or damn near it and I really want to have some for lunch or dinner the next day, I would be OK with taking leftovers home. I don't think leaving the impression of tackiness is such an issue if you've been dating for months or years.

At least one columnist agrees. In the column, Table Manners, the writer suggests not taking a doggie bag home for at least the first three dates. It could leave a bad impression, she says, and it could even impede your date's ability to lean in for a kiss if the box or bag is blocking his way. (On the flip side, once you've snagged the man, our First Lady shows it's acceptable to take leftovers home. She was photographed on Valentine's Day last year carrying a bag home from her date with the President.)

Then there is the I-Don't-Care-Because-I'll-Never-See-This-Loser-Again-Anyway category. For me, that's Cutie With Attitude, who I've known for going on two years (and who I'll probably never see again after this incident). We went out to dinner two weeks ago, and I took leftovers home with me. But that was more to spite him since he made a point of telling me how much he hates my dog ... and he felt himself up at the dinner table (!). I took the steak leftovers home for my dog to eat, not me (and boy, did he love it).

TALK BACK: Is it OK to take a doggie bag home from a date? Does your rule of thumb depend on how long you've been dating--i.e. whether it's the first date or the 50th date?

'Let's Talk About Pep' Reflects Sad State of Dating

If the new reality TV show, Let's Talk About Pep, is any indication, the world of dating for black women is a sad, sad, sad state of affairs.

I mean, I thought I had it rough. But Pep hasn't had a date or had sex in four years. FOUR YEARS! Whoa.

And when she finally did get a date, the dude's hair (was it an S-curl? A Jheri curl?) caught on fire as he tried to romance her in the hot tub. Oddly, this didn't seem to bother her. In fact, she left her girls wondering whether she had sex with him after his hair fire was extinguished.

I had a little teeny bit of hope for a date who took Pep's girl Kittie out. He was a bit boring but at least seemed like he was about something--at first. That is, until Kittie made it clear that she was bored with his talk of his business and financial planning. Then, I guess dude decided he needed to keep her attention by getting freaky. He started talking about his foot fetish at the dinner table in the restaurant. Then he took her to the strip club to "make it rain."

Really, dude?

I guess it worked for him, though. Kittie was all about it, getting freaky in the strip club, bending over, shaking her bootie as he threw money at her. 

The date ended with him sucking Kittie's toes in the car on the way home. Major FAIL. Yuck. Did this fool know he was going to be on TV? He's now officially a laughing stock and will surely get clowned by any woman he approaches who saw last night's episode.

Sadly, Kittie's date's behavior wasn't that shocking for me, since I recently ditched Cutie With Attitude, who has a foot fetish, too, and would cop an attitude because I would not send him camera phone photos of my feet and other body parts. He and Kittie's lame, freaky date would get along well, I'm sure.

TV personality Jacque Reid is another friend of Pepa's, and she's at the point in her life where she is less worried about finding a man and more worried about becoming a mother. She's nearing the end of childbearing age and has reached the point where she's ready to have a baby even if she doesn't have a husband. She took Lamman Rucker out to dinner to broach the subject of if he'd father her child.... and I definitely ain't mad at her for that. He's so fine that many women (myself included) wouldn't mind him being a baby's daddy. *Fanning myself* at the thought of Lamman's fine, fine, fine self. Oh boy, that's a gorgerous man. Wow.

A quick Google search suggests that Pepa is 42 or 43 years old. I am 29. I'd hoped dating would improve as I got older. But the hot mess I witnessed on television last night gives me little hope. No worries, though, I can always take Jacque's approach if all else fails in another decade or so.

First Day of the Year, First Bad Date of 2010

It's never a good thing when your date feels himself up before you have a chance to.

Having been stuck in the house a lot lately--because of snowstorms and being sick--I took Cutie With Attitude up on his offer to go out to dinner on New Year's Day. I hadn't talked to him in weeks, since I asked him to stop contacting me, but he reappeared during the holidays, as they usually do.

I thought a nice dinner date would be a welcome trip out of the house. I thought. And I kinda sorta had fun...at first.

That is, until CWA unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and began rubbing his chest, doing an LL Cool J thing with his lips, while we were sitting at the dinner table in the restaurant.

As he felt himself up, he said, "You like that, don't you?"

Me: "No, really I don't."

WTF. Did he really think that was sexy?!? WHY ME?!?

It only got worse after that. Somehow the conversation turned to CWA's hatred for animals. Apparently a large dog bit him when he was a child. So, he told me, he hates dogs--and that includes my 4-pound dog. Any woman he marries better get rid of her dog if she has one, he told me. I told him that's too bad because the only way I'd ever consider getting rid of my dog would be if I fell in love with someone who was severely allergic to him. Otherwise, CWA can kick rocks.

Needless to say, I was happy when the check came, and I was very quiet the entire ride home. I was relieved that CWA did not attempt to come inside my place, but he did walk me to the door. When I got home, I decided to check out CWA's facebook page--He'd just signed up for fb not too long ago and we became fb friends while we were at dinner. I took a quick look at his page and went to bed.

The next morning, I tried to go back to CWA's facebook page to look at it in more detail--and guess what? He had deleted me as a friend on facebook! I texted him to say, "You deleted me as a facebook friend? Wow." He responded right away and claimed that he hadn't deleted me. He said he didn't know what happened. Must've been some sort of facebook glitch. Whatever, dude.

Do all of these dudes read from the same BS handbook of excuses? I'm mean, you really must be kidding me.

On to the next one.