Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Call Me, Don't Text Me


I'll admit it: I think texting is a great invention. It allows us to communicate quick messages when we can't talk or don't have time for long conversations.

But, I fear, texting has also allowed us to get lazy when it comes to dating and relationships. Don't feel like having an uncomfortable conversation? Just text the message instead. Afraid of how the other person might respond? Just get to typing. And finally, here is a pet peeve of mine: Asking a woman out for a date via text. (Fellas, please don't make a habit of this, especially if it's a first date. It's tacky.)

I recently dated a guy--we'll call him Super Texter--who preferred to communicate via text message. He worked in a facility where he was not allowed to talk on his cellphone. So if he wanted to talk with me, he often texted. He texted me in the morning to say good morning, midday to see how my day was going and at night to wish me sweet dreams. We talked on the phone, too, but not nearly as often as we texted. Then one day, we got into an argument via text -- on my birthday. And rather than pick up the phone and call, Super Texter escalated the argument via text messaging, even when I asked him to stop. I eventually asked him to never contact me again. (Notice I used the word, "contact," because if I'd said, "call," the door would still be open for him to text me.)

Well, not even two weeks later, I received seven back-to-back text messages from Super Texter at 2 a.m. on a work night. I was not happy. This time, he was apologizing for the argument he'd started via text a week and a half earlier, but why did his apology also have to come via text? Why does Super Texter seem to not quite get that actually talking to me would probably be a smarter way to go?

But that's the good thing about texting. As the recipient of such messages, I can choose to reply...or not reply. In this case, I chose the latter. Of course, that means Super Texter is still trying to reach me, but will he ever actually pick up the phone to have a real, live conversation with me?

Only time will tell.

UPDATE 10/15/09: Super Texter did the unthinkable -- He called me this morning to ask me for a date to talk things out!

UPDATE 10/18/09: The date did not go well.

UPDATE 10/20/09: The end of Super Texter.

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