Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cleaning House: Cutting Stragglers Off & Starting Anew

I'm not looking for perfection. I don't believe such a thing exists. I have my flaws, and I know that every man has his quirks. So I try to weigh the good with the bad and separate quirkiness from crazy, though lately I've been attracting the latter.

In the past two days alone, I've had to cut off two different guys. One was Super Texter. And I didn't cut him off because he was late for a date--That was minor and I was over it as soon as it happened. No, he had to go because of his extreme emotional reactions to benign situations. It was borderline scary. His pattern is to flip out on me about once a month (I've known him three months) and then apologize profusely a week or two later. My friends began joking that I was setting myself up to become the subject of a Lifetime movie. Even my dad--when I told him about Super Texter--said to run, not walk, away.

And then there was another guy, we'll call him Cutie With Attitude, who was probably one of the most attractive men I've ever dated, but his attitude simply sucked. Seriously, what a waste of a fine specimen of a man. You see, Cutie With Attitude believes that women should be happy that he even calls them. So if months (yes, months) go by and you don't see him, you shouldn't trip.

Then there was Cutie With Attitude's total lack of consideration for the most basic things. Now let me be clear: I'm pretty self sufficient, even when I'm sick, so there are no expectations here. But if you're a man who claims to be interested in me, the least you can do is fake the funk. However, Cutie With Attitude couldn't even manage that. If I was sick, which has been more often than usual in the last year or so, he never asked if I needed anything. He barely even called to make sure I was alive.

So there were two different issues with Super Texter and Cutie With Attitude. Super Texter was kind and considerate most of the time, but he turned crazy--like, seemingly mentally unstable--when things didn't go his way. Cutie With Attitude didn't appear to be crazy, but he was arrogant, self absorbed and totally and utterly inconsiderate.

If only there were a machine where you could morph the "good" qualities of two different men into one human being. A girl can dream, can't she?

But as I write this, I feel like I made a good decision on both fronts. I just celebrated a birthday, and it was time to clean house for the year ahead. These two guys have taught me more about what I can tolerate and what I can't when it comes to guys. So I guess it wasn't a total loss.

TALK BACK:  Are there dealbreakers that annoy you so much that you've stopped dating someone because of them?  Holla at me in the comments section or on the FabFem Facebook fan page.


  1. I once stopped dating a guy because I didn't like the sound of his voice. Thats petty, I know. But I couldn't imagine listening to that for the rest of my life, so I had to cut bait early. But the *true* deal breakers for me: cigarette smoking, drug use, a person who appears to be really bad with money, someone who doesn't want/like kids, a person who doesn't take care of himself physically….and finally -- a person who lacks intellectual curiosity (i.e. a stupid person.)

  2. Cutting someone off because of the sound of their voice is absolutely hilarious!

  3. At the first instance,we were meeting early morning at 9am,I called up the guy at 8 to confirm the place of meeting since there was no answer I left a message saying. Not coming. There was no call back for the rest of the day.
    This was followed by another call the next day for a plan to meet at 8 in the evening. I got no message of being late. It was followed by a 3 calls at 8:30 to which I didn't respond. Then 2 yet messages saying. Let's meet at this place in 15 mins,followed by another call and message. I responded after an hour with a message saying. Can't come now.