Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Thrill of the Chase: Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy

There's something to be said about how men respond to being ignored. It's totally counterintuitive for us as women, but it's like guys enjoy being ignored. It keeps them interested. Call it the thrill of the chase or whatever. Guys seem to love it.

I told you recently that I was holding out hope for Handsome Honey. Well, in addition to remaining hopeful, I also pretty much started ignoring him.

Like, not calling him at all. Like not sounding excited to talk when he first called me after not calling me for a while. Like being friendly but brief in our text message exchanges and sometimes not replying to his texts at all. And like going out on a date, albeit a bad one, with someone else.

And what do you know? I've talked to HH four times by phone in the past five or six days and I only initiated contact on one of those occasions, and that was because I had a problem that I needed his help with. Mostly he calls and says he's just checking on me. On Sunday he wanted to see me but I told him I was busy.

Today, when I called to ask him about my problem, he answered the phone even though he was in the midst of working on his home renovation. He took a break to see what I needed.

Now, I wasn't calling HH often to begin with, but in the past couple of weeks, my calls and texts have come to an almost complete halt. But maybe it's as simple as this advice from Yahoo! Personals: "By not calling him, he'll start calling you and wondering what happened."

Who knew?

TALK BACK: Do you think that ignoring a man makes him more interested in a woman? Why or why not?


  1. Ignoring a man always keeps him interested. Men are retarded that way. I recently ignored a guy (whom I met online some time ago). He sent me two lengthy emails and called me to tell me he now wanted to be in a relationship. Who knew that's all you had to do to get a man to act right. The thing is they start to recognize "you" have options and "you" are the one in demand. It puts things into perspective for them.

  2. It's crazy, but true. They come running, when you're idle.

  3. True true having brothers I have seen it first hand and they start to wonder "what's up?" They do that interior speak too "Ok I give her until Saturday." Then when you don't they check up like a mom. I thank my brothers everyday for schooling me through their male "insanity".

  4. "Ignoring a woman always keeps her interested. Women are retarded that way. I recently ignored a girl (whom I met online some time ago). She sent me two lengthy emails and called me to let me know she wanted to be in a relationship. We knew that's all you had to do to get a woman to act right. Thing is, they start to recognize "you" have options and "you" are the one in demand. It puts things into perspective for them."

    1. Except men need women and women do not need men.

      Try the above at your peril.

      Just sayin'.

    2. You sure they don't need men? Wouldn't be so quick to assume if I were you. Especially when you consider there aren't many strong women out there.

    3. You sure they don't need men? Wouldn't be so quick to assume if I were you. Especially when you consider there aren't many strong women out there.

  5. Actually, if you ignore me I assume you aren't interested. But maybe I'm different from most guys in that I don't like to bullshit around.

  6. I know this is a bit dated but just wanted to comment anyway. This only works with guys with low self esteem. Confident men with several options and game will never fall for this.

  7. Yes, the above poster is correct I believe. Men who are insecure and have low self-esteem react to the ignore method more. I have had this push-pull thing with a guy for almost two years!! I am sure both of us have been fighting for the upper hand which makes us both ignore each other. But if I remain silent for a period of time, here he comes! He is a game player and the next time he texts me I plan to totally ignore him. This will be fun :) I want the upper hand more than the guy I think, lol

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  9. Why does there have to be so much bullshit with dating?? Im a big fan of being straight forward. If i don't hear from you on the regular, i look for someone else... i hate being ignored!!!

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