I think there is something genetically inherent in all women that makes them believe they are smarter, more attractive, and just all around better than their ex's new woman.
You might be over the guy and have moved on, but sometimes it is just downright entertaining and indulgent to pick the new girl apart. The most necessary ingredient to do this effectively is to do it with your friends, who will wholeheartedly co-sign that you are indeed, smarter, attractive and just all around better than the new chick.
Even if Rhianna scooped up your romantic leftovers and is grinning ear-to-ear, best believe you and your girls will say despite her fame and beauty and fortune... "she let a man beat her bloody before she left. Then she went back and left again! Girl... you waaaaay smarter than that."
Sometimes you actually meet Ms. New in person (Which usually gives you the most and best ammo -- You can hear she has a lisp. You can see that's not her real hair or real hair color and that she needs a manicure. You may even find out if you have more education or a better job than her. And wait, is that a moustache???
Sometimes you see a photo (thanks to online social networking).
Sometimes your social circles are so small that mutual friends meet her or find out enough about her to give you the scoop, and now you've got enough evidence to let the dissection begin. You've probably even made up stuff about the girl off of what you've seen and heard to further solidify just how fabulous you are in comparison and just how low your former man has sunk when it comes to selecting quality women. And it's funny. Why? Because it means you're better than both of them! It's catty. Yes. It's not really classy at all, and yet even the nicest, most put together women still do it anyway because it feels so good.
We've all done it, myself included. Even as a grown woman, I've made jokes about my high school ex who is now nearly 30, still trying to get his rap career off the ground from his mother's basement and "going back to finish school next semester." He also has a propensity for dating 19-year-old girls. Yes, sadly enough, I've seen pics of him at the girl's prom and YouTube videos of her dancing provocatively to reggae. LMAO.
OK, now that I think about it, I've got so much dirt to clown him, it's almost heartless for me to go in on a young woman still trying to find herself, so she gets a reprieve. I've already won, even on my worst day! Tasteless to compare myself to a 19-year-old video ho wannabe--no contest. Guilty as charged. But oh well. It's good fodder over drinks and fondue with my girls.
But really. Is the new woman really that ugly? That unsuccessful? The most interesting aspect of all in this picking we do is everything is surface. We can never really know the girl, or how well she actually does compliment your ex behind closed doors. The new chick may not be as attractive as you, but she could be a sweet girl. Maybe she dances like a ho on the internet, but cooks like a dream and reads to children in the cancer ward of the hospital. You never know. And hell, you don't want to know that stuff because you want to talk crap about her, because you want to talk crap about your ex. That's really what it boils down to.
But you see my point? I just can't help it! Face it, neither can you. It's genetic, and it's honestly a victimless crime. You mend your ego, have some good laughs while everyone, including you, your ex, his new woman and hopefully your new, better man drive off into the sunset.
It makes me wonder, though, just how spot on our obviously biased assessments are of the new chick. Are her teeth really that crooked? Is she even that bowlegged? Because ironically enough, somewhere, some girl is looking at your Facebook page with her friends wondering what on earth your current boyfriend sees in you.
TALK BACK: Do you compare yourself to your ex's new woman/women and always feel he traded down? And if you're making these comparisons, is it still fair to say that you're over the guy?