Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Not Every Sideline Chick Can Be Alicia Keys

By: Guest Blogger NINA LOVEHALL

The chance that a sidepiece will actually get the guy to leave his wife/girlfriend to marry her and live happily ever after is kind of like going to a Louis Vuitton store every single day believing that one of these days, there's going to be a sale.

It just ain't gonna happen.

Sure, women can buy a used Louis for a substantially discounted rate on Ebay or at a consignment store (if you are lucky), but even then, the bag is used, and its authenticity is questioned. It may actually be a real Louis, but you've robbed yourself of the joy of walking into the store and them wrapping it up ever so nicely and placing it in that box and walking out of the store with your prize nestled in that shopping bag. It's yours. It's new. It's real. It's got a guarantee. Plain and simple. That back room bargain always seems to taint the exclusivity of having such a luxury item in the first place.

It's the same idea if you're actively and knowingly pursuing a man who isn't your own.

But recently, international superstar Alicia Keys has done the almost impossible. She's made it snow in the desert. She's just sold water to a well. She's done what countless sidepieces over the ages have tried to accomplish but have often failed at.

She managed to get music producer Swizz Beatz to finally divorce his wife, and she's having his baby. It's been reported that they plan to tie the knot in the fall. (The jury is still out, in my opinion, until then. For a man to leave one marriage and jump into another... I don't know, girl, good luck.) But despite being called a homewrecker and having some serious Twitter beef with Swizz Beatz's ex wife, Alicia stuck it out and got the guy.

However, I want to send a message to all the sidepieces who now consider Alicia to be their patron saint and believe that her current good fortune is a sign of things to come in their own situations: Y'all are sadly mistaken and delusional.

I'm not passing judgment on her because I love A. Keys, too. She's an awesome musician and performer, and her humanitarian efforts really set her apart from a lot of other artists. She's beautiful, humble and has talent coming out of every pore. She's a hardworking woman, who like all of us hardworking women, deserves a real shot at love and happiness. She's certainly got that love glow going on these days.

But if you are out there creeping with someone else's man and you aren't Alicia Keys, chances are HE AIN'T LEAVING and when he does commit to someone, it probably won't be you.

I've seen this thing play out a million times. Monica has a great song from one of her older albums called Sideline Ho. She ticks off a list of things that if your "man" isn't doing with or for you, you are indeed the side chick, and he's not going to leave his main chick/wifey.

So sideline chicks, sidepieces, jumpoffs, breezies, shorties, or whatever you are, hold off on the tickertape parade for Alicia, and don't start up your own wedding registries just yet.

I will give Swizz Beatz credit for going ahead and divorcing his ex and giving Alicia that show of faith, but it's always a worrisome thought wondering once you get that man, if he'll do the same thing to you.

That's the other thing about a used bag. There is usually no return policy where you can at least get a store credit to start all over again.

TALK BACK: Have you ever knowingly gone after a man who was unavailable, hoping he would choose you?


  1. Alicia is one of my favorite women and has been for a long time but she needs to think back to the lyrics of one of her hits:


    I would hate to have to go through life holding my breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop!

  2. @Trinitee Sees - Thanks for commenting!

    Guest blogger Nina Lovehall asked me to post this reply from her:
    I agree completely Trinitee Sees. Considering how ugly his divorce was, Swizzy may have reformed and wants to get it right this time. Seriously, who wants to go through that again? But eh, old habits die hard. Drama does make for great music though, and her current album is really fantastic. I would also be a bit paranoid if I were her.

  3. To answer the question, No, I have not and Yes, AKeys has just set those fighting the "he's just not that into you" truth back....waaaaaay back. Before Akeys, Julie Chen got the CEO of CBS, a show, and morning host spot. But that is how the devil does, for every one that slips thru the crack, 1000 others will try it and lose.