Monday, December 14, 2009

Could Your 'Homepage' Face Scare Away Your Dream Guy?

By: Guest Blogger NINA LOVEHALL

Sometimes to amuse myself, I like to look at people's faces and wonder, or even make up, what might be on their minds.

I do it on the sneak tip, and I try not to linger. But I can't help but be interested in the way people "hold" their face when they are just going about their daily lives, not talking to anyone, just living while no one is noticing-- or so they think.

I call it the "homepage face." Simply put, it's just that general face you wear when you aren't running your mouth and more often than not the one you wear when you are all alone in public. You aren't smiling, yet you aren't scowling. You're just at, well, your homepage. It may be even better to call it a facial screensaver, because you pop right out of it when someone addresses you.  

Anyway, I've read that when it comes to dating or even in your professional life, what your face looks like when you think people aren't looking can say a lot about you and whether or not you are the kind of person folks want to deal with.

Even the annoying guy in the street who passes you saying, "Smile," might actually have a point. Sometimes.

When trying to get from point A to point B, we tend to put on a protective "don't approach me" face to rid ourselves of Mr. Undesirable-Pushy-Street guy. But are we possibly eliminating the kind of men we actually want in the process? Have you ever considered that Mr. Right might have been steps away, noticed you, got interested, but changed his mind once he observed your frosty encounter with Mr. Undesirable?

It's not far-fetched. I have close male friends (solid catches in their own rights), who say they tend to wait it out and observe a woman for a little while before they approach. If she's got a permanent stank grill, they immediately abort mission, regardless of how beautiful she is.
One day, I was walking down the street on my lunch break. I had on a great work-appropriate outfit, which accented my legs (heeeey) and for some reason, I couldn't ignore what a gorgeous day it was. The warmth of the sun, the flowers and the stately buildings surrounding me were commanding me to take notice and appreciate their beauty. 

TIMEOUT: It sounds sappy, but I was especially appreciative of that moment because at the time, misery was a regular companion. I was questioning myself workwise, and I had recently ended a rough relationship. TIME IN.

So, I walked into a fast food restaurant and ordered my lunch. I was patient and smiled and grabbed my food when it was my turn and rolled out. Now, I wasn't smiling like some idiot or skipping, but I was just naturally feeling pleasant. Apparently, my homepage reflected that.

I was taking the long way back to the office when a handsome, well-dressed man ran up behind me, begging my pardon. He startled me, but I stopped and noticed he was actually cute!

He gave the, "I'm not a stalker," disclaimer and told me he noticed me moments ago while standing in line ordering his food, too. (Well dressed, lunch break=has a job. Whoo hoo!) Then he apologized for sounding corny, but he said it seemed like I had some kind of glow. He continued that it was rather unusual to see a busy, professional woman seem so pleasant in the midst of a hungry mob and it didn't seem forced or fake. At first he said that he thought there was no way I could be that happy, but after watching me awhile, he had to meet me and see what I was really about.

Like my male friends, he obviously watched me for a good while to see if the stereotypical stank grill would surface. He was sizing me up once he realized he was physically attracted and followed up with observing how I carried myself.

I wasn't impatiently patting my foot, or huffing and puffing, or angrily looking at my watch or yacking on a cell phone or texting in line. I cracked a smile when placing and picking up my order, but still managed to not go to the default stank homepage face when I walked out. 

He was an engineer, never been married, no kids and ran marathons. A good catch. I just wasn't ready for anything at the time.

TALK BACK: Do you unconsciously keep a stank face when going about your daily business? And is it possible that your "homepage" face could scare away the men you actually want?

1 comment:

  1. Well, I know for a fact that my homepage face has scared off many a dudes. It kinda sucks and it kinda rocks. I have a strong face, when it's straight and a warm one when it's not, so when I ain't got no damn reason to be smiling, I'm mugging, LOL. It's not even on purpose though. I'm yam who I yam.